Without You
by Glenn and Katina Rentholen
Summary: Songfic using Linkin Park and Evanessance. Very angsty. Glenns going crazy. PLZ RR Finally updated and complete Kat
1. Without You

SongFic  
Song Title: With you /Linkin Park  
Fic Title: Without You  
Author: Katina Ashton  
  
04June02  
  
  
  
"__ I woke up in a dream today,  
To the cold of the static,  
And put my cold feet on the floor..__"  
  
  
" Come on, Glenn-Chan!" Her eyes were so beautiful, so vibrant. A true link to her soul. " Come on, Kudasai? It'll be *fun*!" She had tugged on his arm, her olivy hispanic tone a contrast to his own tanned complexion.  
  
Anything to please Kat.  
  
He agreed for her sake, though her oddly playful mood had left a strange pit of dread in his stomache. But normally, it was *her* who had the so called 'premonitions of doom'.  
  
~I'm being paraniod,~ he thought, and smiled for the hispanic girl, ~It's just a train ride. God.~  
  
She giggled and smiles, as she made her way up the ramp. It seemed that for the moment she had forgotten about the restrictions that her metal brace gave her. It clicked against the wood of the ramp up to the train, making an oddly soft sound.  
  
The idea of a train ride had been hers, of course. She had wanted to take a day, just Glenn and herself, and take the train to see the countrysides of Japan. Katina *loved* nature, almost more than anything else Glenn could ever have tried to think of. (except for himself.)  
  
It was *his* idea though, to have them get off at a nice little town near where Yamatos Grandmother lived, and take her out to a nice little lunch, and then.. well.  
  
He fingered the slender covered box in his jacket pocket. She'd like the gift. Katina really had rarely ever receieved a nice gift from anyone other than Koushori, who considered himself her adopted brother more than anything else now. (At least, this was what Koushiro had informed Glenn of, when asked about what kinds of things Katina had normally received from admirers. He wanted to be different from the others.)  
  
Anything to see her smile. Anything to please Kat.  
  
The train began to move as the two of them sat down comfortably. He took her backpack from her, and put it underneath the seat in front of them for her. She smiled at him, and layed her head against his shoulder.  
  
Never forget this moment.  
  
A yell could be heard from the back of the train car they were in. Katinas' face turned pale, as she tried to adjust herself to see what was happening. Glenn turned as well, and the two of them saw a burly man with a gun. People were putting their belongings in a plastic bag he held out in front of himself.  
  
He reached up to his t shirt for his tag and crest. ~This'll be a cakewalk.~ he thought, almost in amusement, untill he pulled it out that is.  
  
Something cold touched the back of his head, " Put it in the bag, Boy." Glenn felt his blood run cold as Katina whimpered. He put his hands up.   
  
" Take the necklace off and put it in the bag." the deep voice demanded again. Glenn reprimanded himself several times mentally, for not checking to see if there would be any acomplices. The cold on his head pushed forward roughly. A gun, he was certain. Weren't those illegal in Japan? For the love of God...  
  
" Alright.. alright.. let me take it off.." he murmured bitterly, trying to come up with an idea so that he'd not have to give up his tag and crest, and not put anyone (especially Katina) in immediate danger.  
  
" Don't have an attitude, kid." he heard a faint clicking. God, this guy was serious!  
  
" Alright.. I'm.. taking it off ok? Just.. please dont hurt anyone.." Glenn slid his hands to the back of his neck, and undid the clasp on the chain. He slid it off, and put it up in his hand.  
  
A rough looking hand took it. There was silence for a moment. Then;  
  
" What the hell is this, Boy?"  
  
Glen hesitated, " It's nothing. Just something given to me by a friend. He thought it looked cool and gave it to me..." Not a total lie, not the *truth* but not a total lie either.   
  
The pressure from the barrel of the gun left his head, and he turned slowly. However, the gun pressed up against his cheek, and a dirty face moved down next to his. He could barely see the male from his perifrial vision." I know what you are, kid." The breath was bitter. It smelled of tobacco. " is your little girlfriend here one too?"  
  
" One what?" He had really been confused by the question. Did the man mean that because they were both choosen children (Even if different kinds?).  
  
" You're a Special kid. One of those that were the first to work with those monsters. am I right? Just.. nodd..." The breath was almost intolorable.  
  
Glenn nodded.  
  
The guy smirked. There was someone in the grasp of his other hand, " Alright. Here's a choice for you kid.. In my other hand I have a little boy.." Glenn heard the child struggle for a moment and plead in Japanese. " I can shoot the kid, or I can shoot your little girlfriend. Take your pick."  
  
" Why.. are you doing this?" Katina demanded from next to Glenn.   
  
Why did she have to get involved? She should have just stayed silent!  
  
" Because my brother was put in this same situation because of you children." the man hissed into Glenns ear, not really talking to Katina, " Do you know how old my brother was? Would you like to guess?"  
  
Glenn felt his blood run like curdled cheese. ".. I'm.. sorry for your loss..."  
  
Katina took a deep breath, " Your brother.. he was very young.. I, too, am sorry for what you have lost.."  
  
" You don't *know* what I lost!" thundered the man, " My kid brother, he was only 12. *12*. He didn't want someone else hurt, because you damn children, you damn children opened up the gates to that world. He'd've never been put in that situation if you had just left well enough alone and left those gates *closed*." He pressed the gun up against Glenns head again, making him have to move his head forwards a little bit.  
  
The little boy pleaded again in Japanese. He called for his mother. He called for his sister.   
  
It wasn't a fair situation! Katina or an innocent!  
  
" The kid, or your girlfriend." the demand came again. " I promise I'll only kill one. But I want you to know how it felt for my brother. What I'm going through now. What I've had to live through because of you."  
  
Katina gasped. He heard her small voice, trembling, " Me... Don't hurt him.. take me.." she whispered softly. Her accent stood out strangely in the silence of the train car.  
  
" No. Katina.. this doesn't involve you.. You take me.. Don't li.."   
  
The click and bang of the gun was to fast. Glenn whipped his head around, and met face to face with the barrel, " Don't make me have to break my promise to you. I imagine that if I did your little girlfriend would come back to haunt me." The man glowered down at Glenn, his face hidden by a mask.  
  
However, he let loose of the little boy, who had begun to scream and cry at the loud sound. The little boy ran back to his mother, who wrapped him up tightly in her arms, and codddled him, tyring to calm him down in Japanese.   
  
Glenns heart beat up in his throat. The feeling of dread he'd had. The gun left his face, and the man looked over to Katina. The other man called for him.  
  
" Man! We gotta get outta here! Now!" It didn't seem to matter to them that the train was moving. Glenn watched the man as he backed up a little bit past him, twards the other man, and then lowered his gun. He dropped the tag and crest to the ground. A huge mistake on his behalf.  
  
Once he had turned all the way around, Glenn lept for he tag and crest, and immedietly turned his attention to Katina. He'd get even with the men in due time. Katina came first. But leaning over her body, he watched her open eyes gaze into him for only a few seconds. Empty. A void of life, love, happiness, pain or fear. She was gone.   
  
The red stain where the man had shot her had spread over the front of her green jacket. The shot hadn't been made at quite point blank range, but it had been close enough that the hole that it must have made through her chest was probably good sized. Glenn ripped the jacket open, and stared in horror. All the healing silvery mist in the world couldn't heal the wound that he was looking at where his beloveds heart should have been.  
  
He choked on his tears, burning in the back of his throat. His vision was suddenly blinded by rage, pain and bitterness. But he couldn't force himself to move. He couldnt force himself to stop staring.   
  
She knew. You know she knew. There's no changing it.  
  
" No. *No*!!"   
  
  
"__ Forgot all about yesterday,  
Remembering I'm pretending to be,  
Where I'm not anymore...__"  
  
  
He sat up in bed, covering his face with his hand.   
  
Come on! Kudasai! It'll be *fun*!!  
  
A sudden chill ran down his spine. The grey early morning light, mixed with the paleing lights of the night-time city of Tokyo were visible through drawn curtains, and between his fingers. Sweat beaded on his face and he wiped it away, pushing his hair out of his face in the process.  
  
" Katina.." he mumbled hoarsly. His tongue felt thick and fuzzy.  
  
Glenn got up, and walked over to the kitchen sink of his one room apartment. He didn't even bother getting a glass. Turning on the faucet, he leaned over and drank straight from the stream of cold water. It dribbled down his cheek as he drank, and down his chin when he stood up straight again.  
  
He used his hand to wipe it away, and then dried his hand on his t-shirt. He blinked and looked down at himself. He was still dressed in a set of gym clothes from the day before.  
  
~I don't remember laying down last night, ~ he thought, rubbing his face with the same hand he had used to wipe his face, ~ I must have been beyond exauhsted.~  
  
Silence.  
  
Looking at the clock on the oven, Glenn learned that it was 5:54 a.m.. He frowned and then sighed.   
  
~To early to get up, to late to go back to bed.~ he thought crossly, walking back over to the bed that normally doubled as a couch in his 'living room'.   
  
Glenn opened his closet next to the bed, and looked down at the pile of clean laundry that should have been hanging neatly in his closet, but rather was laying on the bottom of the closet in a messy pile. It took up all the floor space of the tiny closet. He began to go about grabbing up a couple of clean loooking/smelling items, and shoved the rest back into the closet lazily with his foot.  
  
A t-shirt, a pair of underwear, a pair of shorts... He knew that, while the air in the aparment was cool and comfortable, outside, the heat, would be close to unbearable.  
  
He grabbed a clean towel, and started downstairs of the apartment building where the apartment showers were.   
  
  
"__ A little taste of hypocracy,  
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake,  
Slow to react...__"  
  
  
Glenn got into the shower, and pulled the curtain around himself before turning on the water, and letting it run down over his nude body. The water was warm, but he barely noticed it.   
  
You know you can't do anything about it.  
  
He washed quickly, and got out of the shower, wraping his towel around his middle. Wet hair hung down limply in his face. He needed a haircut, but really didn't care.   
  
"Rentholen-san.," someone called him by his last name, " Glenn? Are you feeling okay?"  
  
Looking up from the tile of the bathroom floor of the showers, he saw Kiddo Jyou standing there in front of him, dressed most of the way, and looking as though he had just finished with his own shower.  
  
" Huh? Yea," Glenn brushed the wet hair out of his way, " Hai, I'm fine."  
  
You're lying.  
  
" You look tired. Have you not been sleeping well?" Jyou looked genuinly concerned over his friends' well being. Of course, part of that was because he was training to become a doctor. He figured that the health of all his friends was his buisness, and duty, to look over at times.  
  
" Been *sleeping* fine," Glenn really sighed the answer more than spoke it, " It's not the *sleep* I assure you, Kiddo."  
  
Jyou was clearly disturbed by the use of his last name by Glenn, " You never call me that." he said in a tone that most mothers reserved for accusing her child of being in the sweets bowl when they weren't supposed to be.  
  
" Gomen, Jyou-san." Glenn replied, politly, but coldly. He really didn't feel like talking.  
  
" how are you *really* doing, Glenn-san?"  
  
Glenn pulled his shorts on, and threw the towel around his neck, " Katina and I are fine." He'd said it deliberatly, so that maybe the soon-to-be doctor would get the hint that he didn't want to talk about it.  
  
However, such was not his luck. Jyou frowned deeply at the last remark, and looked Glen in the eyes, lack meeting blue in seriousness. " She's gone, Glenn."  
  
This remark earned himself a direct glare. Glens blue eyes narrowed, saying that he was very well awakre of Katinas' ansence from his life. But there was something else in there as well, something that refused to take that fact to heart.   
  
" I still dream though, Jyou."  
  
And that was the end of the conversation.  
  
  
"__ Even though you're so close to me  
You're still so distant,   
And I can't bring you back...__"  
  
  
Glenn looked down the long hallway to his apartment door. He'd thought that he'd heard a familiar sound. The soft ticking of metal against concrete.  
  
You're a fool. She's gone.  
  
The sound had made him freeze in his tracks. Common sense told him that it had to be a bug of some sort, or that someone was working down in one of the other halls.  
  
~But she's gone.~ he reminded himself, bitterly. He unlocked the door and stopped again after he had stepped through into his apartment. Glenn took a deep breath. The scent...  
  
Flowers. Fresh tilled earth. Warm bread. Sugars and spices.   
  
~Katina,~ He shook his head after being dazed for a moment, ~No! She's gone.. She's not coming back. Dead people.. just.. don't.. *do* that!~ He felt his heart jump up in his throat again, it caused a small physical pain in his chest, and he reached up to comfort it, in a way. He felt something resting under his shirt.  
  
Reaching up to his neck, he pulled out the chain he had been wearing for a long time now. A Key. A very small silver key. The Silver heart that rested next to it on the chain had been Katinas'. He'd been going to give it to her that day.   
  
Things like those are reminders that life happens.  
  
" Katina.." he mumbled again. The scent was gone now. He moved over to the bed, and sat down, fingering the heart. He closed his eyes. But.  
  
Didn't you bury that with her?  
  
But, hadn't he put the necklace that was to be hers around her neck when they were gettng ready to bury her? He frowned and reopened his eyes.   
  
  
"__It's true, the way I feel,  
Was promised by your face,  
The sound of your voice,  
Painted on my memories,  
Even when you're not with me,   
I'm with you...__"  
  
  
Rain had poured down on the day they had buried Katina. Her favorite sort of weather in life, accompainied her in death. It seemed to suit this day. The rain was a good cover for tears being shed, but did little to hide red pained eyes. It was hard to dismiss the missing young womans death. Impossible.  
  
Kacie and Glenn had cried the most at the funeral. Kacie wailed, and Glenn simply stood there, letting the tears fall down his face. He had still been in shock.  
  
It should have been you.  
  
~Katina...~  
  
Koushiro had been unable to cry, he was in so much pain. He stared hard at the ground, clutching the white flowers in his hand for Katina, whose favorite flowers in life had been white lilies. Tears burned his eyes and throat, but they refused to fall.   
  
The casket was open under the makeshift pavilion before the casket was dropped down later in the afternoon. Katinas normally happy cheerful face was drawn back in her serious smile that was seldom used after she had met Glenn.  
  
Glenn moved forward. He looked down at her pale face, and saw his tears his her face, and make small wet spots on her makeup. He put a hand down on her face, and nodded, " I love you Kat-chan.."  
  
  
"__ You (Now I see), keeping everything inside,  
You (Now I see), even when I close my eyes...__"  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: I will finish this tomorrow morning probably, tomorrow eavning by the latest. Thank you for reading. Please reveiw. ~Kat 


	2. Bring me to life

SongFic  
  
Song Title: Bring me to life/Evenessance  
  
Fic Title: Life  
  
Author: Katina Ashton  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: so much for beiong done tomorrow night, Ne?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
He couldn't get her out of his head. She was there, constantly, all the time, talking, laughing, crying, being.. Just being. She was always being there, and there was nothing to stop it.   
  
Glenn wasn't sure that he wanted to stop it.   
  
You know you don't.  
  
He slammed his fist agaisnt the wall of the apartment. " God Damn!" he shouted.  
  
silence was the only reprimand.  
  
You. IT would have been you. IT should have been..  
  
"Me."  
  
"..__ How can you see into my eyes,  
  
Like open doors...  
  
Leading you down into my core,   
  
Where I've become so numb__.."  
  
Sleep was no longer an option. glenn sat awake at the computer, staring that the screen as it hummed. The words on the screen were there, but they were no more than gibberish to Glenn anymore. Nothing more than that.   
  
She wrote it. It's in English you fool.  
  
I can't. I can't read it. I can't read it and still think about her. It will kill me.  
  
Then maybe you'll be with her again you fool.  
  
Silence.  
  
glenn looked at the words.  
  
They were gibberish.  
  
Katina had only JUST gotten started into writting in a professional manner. She'd started to write the story of how the digidestined came to be..  
  
I love you.  
  
Glenn sat up straight.   
  
".._ Without a soul,  
  
My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold  
  
Untill you find it there and lead it back home__.."  
  
She'd stood in front of the window to glenns room. Of course, she'd been watching him for so long.   
  
He's so sad.  
  
Katina watched him, she took a deep breath. The window opened.  
  
".._ Wake me up inside  
  
Wake me up inside,  
  
Call my name and save me from the dark_.."  
  
Glenn stared at the open window, as the sunshine from outside poured in. The window had just opened on it's own. The thin curtains moved easily in the breez from, the streets. The air pushed it'self up from the street level up the apartment building..  
  
I love you  
  
You're hearing her voice again aren't you? You really need some sleep, Rentholen.  
  
"Shut up... shut up and die.." Glenn whispered. It wasn't to Kalika though.  
  
There was another silence. It was so quite that Glenn could hear the electronic buzz of the computer behind him. The cars and traffic moved busy below him. Horns were honking, people yelling, children laughing. Glenn heard none of it. All he could hear was the voice inside.. and the computer humming.  
  
And the keyboard clicking. But not under his fingers.  
  
He turned around quickly, grabbing his crest in his hand. something he had not done since that day.   
  
You're one of them.. those special children.   
  
the keyboard stop clicking.   
  
"Katina.."  
  
".._ Bid my blood to run  
  
Before I've come undone  
  
Save me from the nothing I've become_.."  
  
Glenn looked at the computer screen. The Document was blank now. Except for one sentance.  
  
Glenn, why do you drive me off?  
  
The courser was blinking.   
  
The keyboard remained silent.  
  
" Katina?"  
  
Click.   
  
clickclickclickclick...  
  
I'm so sorry.  
  
Glenn jumped back, adn then leaned forwards to stare at the scren again. "Katina?" he felt his heart jump up into his neck, " Katina? IS that you? Love?" he whimpered, the tears welling up in his eyes.  
  
"..__ Now that I know what I've become,   
  
you can't just leave me,  
  
Breath into me and make me real__.."  
  
Glen, love, I'm so sorry.. I love you  
  
click.  
  
Glenn rushed to the computer, and grabbed the chair. "Kat?!" He shut his eyes to squeze out the tears, or maybe, push them away so that he could hope for the hopeless..  
  
Can't you hear my voice love?  
  
" I hear you all the time?"  
  
Your'e talking to yourself.. you're a delusional idiot!  
  
I love you.. please.. come to me.. I'm begging you.  
  
Glenn opened his eyes, and closed them again, and took a deep breath. The first deep breath he'd taken in a long time, and took in the scent of the apartment.  
  
He stood straight up, taking his eyes off the computer screen, and looking around. The apartment suddenly didnt smell like it should have. It smelled like fresh plastic and.. something he couldn't place, but had smelled before. Maybe at the dentists office?  
  
when he looked back at the screen, the entire computer was off.  
  
He fell onto his bed..  
  
You're insane. Just commit yourself.  
  
Or just go to sleep and not wake up.   
  
"Not wake up?"  
  
Don't leave me.  
  
"Katina.." Glenn whispered, and shut his eyes tightly.  
  
"..__Bring me to life__.."  
  
Katina sat besides Glenns bed, and kissed his forehead. "please wake up love.."  
  
Glenn groaned, and blinked slowly. He took another deep breath. The oxygen mask fogged a little bit more than it had been.  
  
Katina stared, " GLENN!"  
  
Glenn looked up at her, " K.. K-hat?"  
  
she smiled and nodded, removing the mask, " You came back to me." she whispered. " You came back.. I was so scared that you'd be gone forever..." she confessed sadly.   
  
"Where am I?"  
  
Katina looked at him, " You don't remember anything?"  
  
" You're dead... Am I?" The question lingered.  
  
Katina stepped back a little bit surprised, " What? I'm not dead... But the doctors said that you would be in the coma forever..." She leaned forwards and hugged him tightly.   
  
glenn gasped for air, " What? What are yo utalking about?"  
  
Katina smiled, and brushed her fingers over his forehead, " It doesn't matter, love.."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: OMg. What a cope-out. Enjoy anyhow. ~Kat 


End file.
